Guide to a connected summer festival with kids

In 2018 I wrote this blog on making the most of time at festivals with your kiddos. It is now 2025, and am I so happy to still be going to festivals with my now enormous teens! I hope this is a useful guide if you are contemplating a festival or two... and I've added some recommendations for 2025 at the end.

We’ve all been there. You’re supposed to be taking the kids to somewhere you can all have fun, where they can get plenty of freedom to run around and make friends; where you can engage in festival fun en famille; where you might even get some time to yourself. And yet so often festivals end up feeling fraught.

Our children get overtired and hysterical and the more we give them, the more unreasonable they become.

It doesn’t make sense that they should be so upset when we’ve moved heaven and earth (or at least  the entire contents of the house) to give them a lovely experience. So what is really going on and what do our children want us to know about their core needs when festivalling?

We need connection!

Sometimes in the busyness, the packing and the non-stop activity, the connection we usually offer to our children gets interrupted. Try offering Special Time (one-on-one focused attention, where you set a timer, say, "I’ll play whatever you want!" and delight in them without distraction) when you arrive after a long journey, rather than rushing to set up the tent.

Our peers are not a reliable source of connection!

Often when our kids are off playing with new friends for hours, we assume they are having fun and receiving connection. The kind of connection that lets the emotional part of your kid’s brain know they are safe and cared for and that someone in the world gets them, needs regular attention from an adult.

Try checking in periodically with the focus on play and delight. If your child resists your presence it’s actually a signal they are losing connection and need you to try harder! This may be a good time to insist they take some downtime or come for a connection pit-stop. A few minutes of wrestling, cuddles or listening to them will set them back on track to go out for more playing with friends.

We still need limits!

It can be tempting to let more things go than usual at a festival, but our children need limits as something to come up against so they can offload the stress and tension that has accumulated in this overstimulating and unpredictable environment. When they can protest or cry about a limit we have enforced, we are actually doing them a favour by helping them let-off some steam. You’ll notice that your child can be their sweet, easygoing, co-operative selves again when you have Staylistened to an upset for as long as they need to be upset for.

Anticipate Spoiled Outing Syndrome!

When we are more available for our children, more relaxed and under less pressure to do work or chores, the extra attention can be felt by your child’s nervous system. You can start to expect that when you have been playing and doing fun stuff with a kid all day, they will feel closer to you. And when that happens they’ll want to dump out all the tension they’ve been carrying about for some time and haven’t had a chance to unload yet. Embrace the irrational meltdowns that come out of nowhere. Your children are using the soothing balm of your attention to catch up with themselves, emotionally. This is therapeutic and lets them be more relaxed in the long run.

Your kids may need a lot of you as you navigate exciting summer adventures so to avoid getting burned out, you’ll want to prioritise your own needs first. Regular listening partnerships will keep you afloat when everybody needs a piece of you. Remember to carve out regular time for yourself so you can come back renewed and able to give your kids what they actually need so that you can all have more fun.

If you're coming, catch me at one of my workshops at:

Buddhafield festival

The Neuroscience of Arguments - date, time & venue TBC

Finding the Jewel in Kids' Tantrums - date, time & venue TBC

There are a few festivals I am sad to see not happening this year. But so many amazing festivals ARE running. The below are a few of my favourites for 2025. I won't be doing workshops at these, but I may pop along to enjoy what they offer - maybe see you there...

Wilderness -  Oxfordshire, 31st July - 3rd August

Green Gathering - Chepstow - 31st July - 3rd August

Into the Wild  - West Sussex - 22nd August - 25th August

End of the Road - Larmer Tree, nr Salisbury - 28th - 31st August